Bagels and Bratwurst ★★★★

I feel
I am reinventing myself

Whatever that means
I guess

Because when I look in the mirror
I see that cliché
you know
the one about not being myself
anymore

So I chopped off my hair
and bought different clothes
and made art
that was oh so smart smart smart and witty
about self and thought and transcendence and death and beauty and
imperfection
and I went out in the middle of the night
to hang out with people
I didn't know
in places I had never been
just because

I could

Because

They were interesting

And so I started listening to new music
All sorts of new stuff
the one that goes
da da dada na na da na ch ch ch da
and the ones about
rebellion
or something

I'm leaving here soon
Y'see
destined for nowhere just yet
only anywhere
for now

And I say
Fuck you roommates!
You and your misanthropy
and your condescension

Fuck you everything!
I love you so much
I dig, I dig, I dig
Let's do lunch

All my friends are in bands now
all artists and hipsters and punks
We'll fight that system some day, kids

Just like we used to

For now I can pull at my hair in the mirror
and I hem and hah
and twine my fingers through everything
and I don't quite recall
where I used to be headed

Did I ever get there?
Am I there?
Is this it?

God forbid

But maybe next Tuesday we can talk

also talk shop, talk philosophy, talk my inconsequential human existence

You always liked that joke

When I look behind this
did it sew me in a new backbone?
Did I grow stronger or outward and up or
have I rewritten, revised, stolen, slid, misdirected or just gone
temporarily somewhere for a stay?

Or did he open me like a bottle
and pour me out on the corner
and tell me this is good,
this is good, kiddo

So I guess I'm all new and shiny and improved and on the up and up
and the down low
and the other directions too while we're at it

So I guess
Nothings changed at all

Nothing at
all

And I know I'm supposed to leave you
breathless
with that poignant thought in your head
so this sits with you until you forget it over bagels and bratwurst

But I can't

Because it just keeps going and going and going