Tarot

I don't believe in the tarot

But if I did I would say
That my father
Saw his death in those cards
And that my mother
Sees the future in flames

But I do believe in a card

Seventeen

Not for how
It fits in the hand
Nor for a love
Of occult mysticism
Or the wish
Of a more magical reality

Though

I do wish

And I pine for the loss
Of something that feels
Like a more magical
Reality

But I do believe

In what it means

In the reason so many
White girls get it marked
Into the skin of their hands
Their necks
Behind their ears
Next to the dreamcatchers
Mobius symbols
And flying birds

But I am not them
I cannot fill my body
With stars

But I do wish

I could swallow them down
Breathe them in like light

If I only had the will

I don't believe in promises

There's no destiny
That plays out like a movie
A book that you can open
And peek into the chapters ahead
To make sure your favorite character
Is still there
Still has words
Left to be written

But I believe in the stars

A map that reminds you
That you're a part of everything

A compass that tells you
There's more out there than dark

But only

If you keep going

The only things
That the stars hand deliver
Feel like a burning inside you
And never seem
As beautiful as they were
When they were viewed so far away

They say
You'll have the light I gave you
But you have to find
Your own way

I believe in
Finding your home again
In finding yourself again

I believe in a path
That walks your feet forward

I believe in a light
Where the winding cavern ends
That holds all the potential
That anyone ever has

I believe in a hope
That says
There's still a chance

Things can still change

(written 10/29/20)