Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Appeal ★★★★

It would appeal more to my sense of dramatics and poetics
If I could say that I were a poison in the veins of the world
The rivers of prosperity torn bereft
All turned to ruin at my touch
I could adorn myself with beautiful tragedy
And denigrate the horrible monster of myself

If only my endless good will did not hold me back
To be emperor of man if not for the sake of altruism

Still, I could pull open the wardrobe of my life
And dress myself in pains and agonies
Wrap failures around my shoulders
And weigh myself down in sorrow

It's not hard to see the world as shades of grey
To shed with childhood the conceit of good and evil
Left behind among tricycles and tops
Rests paramount malevolence
Replaced with only concern for self
And selfish need

But no one tells you that sometimes there is no right answer
That sometimes the best you can do
Is hurt less
Damage less

And I feel like a flame among moths
Feel the fragile moments fluttering at my lips
And burning to ash with my breath
Afraid to speak
They die all the same

And my feet grow heavier with the failures unavoidable
But knowing I couldn't have done better
Isn't freeing
Knowing that no one could have done better
Doesn't mend the time spent
Watching a world shatter in the glass of eyes
That are staring into your own
And feeling yours giving way

And there is a growing feeling
That nips and gnaws at my feet
As I walk in life's parting wake

That when my body finally turns to dust
And I stand at the spiral's end
In front of the host of angels
With skin as pure as milk and eyes that burn like suns
They will speak in tones like eternity collapsing
Saying it's not that you were bad
You just weren't good enough

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